


When The Shit Hits the Fan, You Hit the Floor

by faequeentitania



Category: Agents of Cracked, Cracked - Ambiguous Fandom, Cracked.com
Genre: Explosions, Fist Fights, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 20:15:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8115967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faequeentitania/pseuds/faequeentitania
Summary: Daniel never claimed to be particularly brave, and surrounded by a robot, an invincible super soldier, and two freaking gods did nothing to make him think that developing a strong sense of courage now was a good idea.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a silly little plot bunny that I couldn't shake from my head. Basically the missing fight scene from the AoC finale, featuring protective!Michael. Many thanks to [newo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/newo) for her encouragements!

“Spooooooooon!”

Dan never claimed to be particularly brave, and surrounded by a robot, an invincible super soldier, and two _freaking gods_ did nothing to make him think that developing a strong sense of courage now was a good idea.

So he did the first thing he could think of; he dove under the table.

Probably the least heroic thing he ever did, no doubt about that. At least this way he might live to talk about it, though.

Gunshots rang out, and the distinct crash of breaking glass made his heart hammer in his chest as the sound of chaos broke out.

 _This is it,_ he thought despairingly, _This is how I die. All the crap I’ve been through the past three years, and I’m going to die under a table. Michael probably won’t even remember my name at my funeral. If there’s even enough left of me to bury._

A loud bang on top of the table made him jump, and the grunts and thumps of a scuffle could be heard directly above him. One of the random tiny dogs barked at his elbow, looking up to the top of the table. He had no idea where the other one was, or even where they had come from to begin with.

Ridiculously, he hoped that he wouldn't have to hunt their true owners down when all of this was over, because he had no doubt that Michael had stolen them out of someone’s yard.

The Chief’s eerie voice roared in rage, and Dan felt it deep in his chest like a bass reverberation. He trembled, the sound chilling his blood and making him truly terrified.

He heard Michael shout in pain, and it was almost enough to propel him out from under the table, his gut instinct to protect his partner outweighing his fear. He ended up not having to when Michael crashed to the floor right next to him, clenching his cheek in pain and whimpering.

“Michael!” Dan gasped, reaching out with both hands and dragging Michael by the arm under the table with him, “Michael, you ok?”

Michael winced as Dan pried his hand away from his cheek, looking at the red mark undoubtedly caused by a blow of a fist or an elbow.

“M’fine!” Michael grunted, pushing Dan’s hand away, “But this calls for some fire power!”

Before Dan could stop him, Michael pulled a grenade out of his pocket and pulled the pin.

“Holy shit!” Dan gasped.

“Fore!” Michael shouted as he reached around and chucked it over the edge of the table.

“Grenade!” Dan heard Sarge shout, and the next thing he knew Michael was on top of him, pushing him to the ground.

The explosion itself is a blank spot in his memory, probably for good reason.

“Dan!” Michael’s voice was the next thing he was aware of, cutting through the way his ears were ringing, “Daniel!”

Dan’s eyes fluttered open. Michael was on all fours above him, covered in dust and debris and a hard crease between his eyebrows. His face showed open fear and worry.

“Michael?” he said dazedly, and Michael’s sweaty palm cupped the side of his face.

“You ok?” Michael asked, and Dan frowned as he considered. His ears were ringing and he hurt all over, even with Michael using himself as a shield to protect him, but he didn’t feel like there was any lasting damage.

“I think so,” he croaked, then coughed at the dust caught in his throat.

“O’Brien! Swaim!” Sarge’s voice barked, and Michael helped Dan to his feet as Sarge and Chief made their way over to them through the remains of the wrecked furniture.

Dan stared at the limp body of B-Tone, then turned away when his stomach churned at the sight of the gaping, red holes where his eyes used to be. Sarge wasn’t kidding.

“We’re ok!” Michael said, “We’re ok, Sarge!”

“Good. You idiot!” Sarge growled, slapping Michael on the side of the head. Michael squawked and rubbed the spot with an offended look, and Sarge glared hard at him with his one good eye, “You could have brought half the building down!”

“Pft!” Michael scoffed, “I knew what I was doing!”

 _I highly doubt that,_ Dan thought, and Sarge seemed to agree, laying into Michael until the Chief interrupted with a booming, “Enough!”

They all fell silent, and the Chief easily took command of the room.

“Take care of B-Tone,” he growled at Sarge, “You two, go clean up. You have half an hour, then get your asses back here. I have a plan.”’

“What-” Michael began to ask, before the Chief held up a corkscrew with a menacing growl.

“Yessir!”

Dan followed Michael out of the room immediately, still dazed and aching. He had no idea how he was still alive, but the way Michael turned back to smile at him, covered in dust and disheveled, made him incredibly happy to be so.

“Hell of a day, eh, partner?”

“I’ll say.”


End file.
